Merry Christmas from Me Mr. Rant, I wish and hope that you are all having a good day. 

 Enjoy it.

 Normal Service will be resumed shortly….

A Sunday.

Sundays to me, are always the most boring of the week.  You sit around and are bored.  Infact you are boring on a Sunday.

Sunday is a grey day. 

Oh well Christmas is 9 Days away.

Almost Over….

Insanity 

n., pl. -ties.

1. Mental illness or derangement. No longer in scientific use.
2. Law.
   1. Unsoundness of mind sufficient in the judgment of a civil court to render a person unfit to maintain a contractual or other legal relationship or to warrant commitment to a mental health facility.
   2. In most criminal jurisdictions, a degree of mental malfunctioning sufficient to relieve the accused of legal responsibility for the act committed.
3. 1. Extreme foolishness; folly.
   2. Something that is extremely foolish.

Why must I be subjected to a constant onslaught of Stupidity from people around Christmastime! I appreciate that you all have ISS and cannot stop yourselves from getting in the way of people who wish to progress further and faster than yourselves, but why can’t you understand that I don’t want to;

1. You to get in my way, it annoys me at the best of times and I’d rather eat my own leg ( NB; not the right one I quite like it, and have began to feel its a rather integral part of me).
   
2. I do not wish to see you eat.  Keep your mouth closed, you like a hippo with your slack-jawed, open-mouthed expression.  (NB; The motion of the food in your mouth is stomach-churning, excuse me while I vomit on your shoes).
   
3. I don’t like you when you’re drunk; in-fact I dislike you more.  You are stupid, your breath smells and you have added to your inability to walk straight even more through the application of alcohol. 

These are just three reasons why I dislike you and why you exacerbate my misanthrope further. 

I, as many other humans do, choose the people with whom I like to associate with, therefore I do not wish for you to grab me in the street and offer me the chance to partake in a “Stress Survey” or that you wish for me to discover how I can “De-stress My Life”; for a start there are two things which you are categorically causing to me in that instant;

1. Stress – As you may have noticed I have travelled into to town for a purpose.  That purpose is and will remain not be stopped by you; Mr. Clipboard, my suggestion: let me on my way and I will thank you for it. 
   
2. Wasting My Time – By stopping me you have; prevented me from progressing in my aim to shop, I already dislike it and you are making it an even worse task.  

But the problem is; you cannot just walk past, you have to say something.  There is the downfall.  You have to be polite; you nod, say “No Thanks” and walk away.  Why can’t I just walk past? Why am I instantly drawn to make an appology?  An appology which is wholehearted and sincere. 

Therein lies my downfall…

It really is another really cold day in jolly old England.

How depressing. 

At least there is salvation in the offing. Christmas and indeed this time of year is about meeting up with those people who you have not see for a while, for instance today I am meeting a good friend of mine. The only down point is however, we’re meeting in the city centre. 

Marvellous…

I have began to discover that this blogging is rather addictive, I can liken it to smoking, you have one, you want another.  I don’t know if this is just me or whether it is the fact that I have alot to say, evidently I do, and besides it’s not like it is illegal to write down your thoughts and feelings after-all its all part of freedom of speech. 

A few days ago, I went to our local pub for a nice meal, this is a common event for me, I am a foody and I enjoy dining out.  The meal was lovely. I enjoy pub grub, it’s homely and fills the gap, with fatty steak, meaty lasagne or a nice light lunch. 

Of course I was bound to be attracted by the meaty Aberdeen Angus Lasagne.  Which is heavenly.  You can assume its pre-made, mass-produced in a football-stadium-sized factory somewhere north of Dusseldorf and in all probability does not and never has contained any Aberdeen Angus Cow.  However that is not the issue.  After our meal I settled and decided that I wanted a cigarette, I smoke, it’s not big and it’s not clever, but I’m an addict and proud of that.  I will give up.  One day.  In the distant future. 

I ventured outside, as is now customary in the UK.  I won’t get started on the smoking ban, this is a topic of which will be a basis to many of the posts which I will write over the coming months.  The benches outside our local are fine, they’re not comfortable, but then again who said a plank of wood in the shape of a triangle would be? Maybe that was an assumption I had developed to try and make the experience of being outside smoking on a freezing winter evening more comfortable. 

Eventually after finding a dry seat and starting to get the feeling back in my fingers I spark up my fag and smoke it. I’m enjoying my cigarette, it’s as marvellous as ever.  Wonderful, just what you want, a fag, a nice evening and lovely meal.

But that is not the issue… I think and feel that it is fair that these non-smokers don’t want to inhale my “second-hand” smoke but who cares, I pay taxes on every single thing and what do I get, coldness everytime I want a fag.  Unfair? Yes…

Annoyed

tr.v., -annoyed, -noy·ing, -noys.

1. To cause slight irritation to (another) by troublesome, often repeated acts.
2. Archaic. To harass or disturb by repeated attacks. 

As you may have noticed I am generally annoyed by many things in life, but some just take the biscuit and some you have to experience daily, in turn we learn to live with these annoyances.  It’s easier that way. However, when you are in a queue as i was about fifteen minutes ago sometimes it’s hard to not speak your mind and tell these morons where to go. 

 Picture the scene…

We’re standing in a shop, waiting patiently like good little cattle, when all of a sudden a woman of a certain age comes along and looks as though she is about to push in line, which I have been waiting in for several minutes (several being more than the acceptable two or three).  I wait, look ahead and think she is going to push in, I wonder if I could piss her off and do it to her next time she is waiting in line? Of course I continue to stand there in that line waiting for my turn with the cashier.  I egde forward, waiting with baited breath.  The woman moves forward more, I resist the temptation to scream out;

“Move it, woman, you’re getting in the way. In-fact that is not the point, I’m next!”

I reserve my opinion and it’s time for me to be served.  I walk forward to the till, and with my forward motion the woman says;

“Go ahead love, your next”

I must state that she said it with no malice and it could not be interpreted in any other way other than that she is stating the obvious. 

“Of course I know I’m next I’ve been standing here waiting for a several minutes, you moron!”

However, I don’t say the above, instead I smile politely and the inevitable comes out of mouth;

“Thank you”

It really is an issue which is more evident daily, I’m polite, conscious of others and I wouldn’t dream of interjecting with a ungracious;

“Fuck off” or More likely “Fuck you”

 The reason that I would not do this?

I’m British.  I mean I’m proud to be British, but bloody hell why can’t I just speak my mind? If I was American or French I would of been straight in there, with a meaningful;

“Fuck you bitch” An exact Americanisation, or the rather more romantic;

“Vous baiser” The French alternative.

 So the sum total of my anger today is focused around the innocuous fact that I cannot ever express my feelings…