Seventy-Two days…
Worrying as it is, there’s only seventy-two days until the dreaded day, more worrying is that I’ve been offered an overtime shift for December it really isn’t that long away.
Written By Mobile Rant.
Bad use of a good language?
“Colloquialism, the use of informal expressions appropriate to everyday speech rather than to the formality of writing, and differing in pronunciation, vocabulary, or grammar.”
I fully understand how colloquialism works, generally if you come from a certain part of the country you may use different phrases or words to convey a particular situation or matter, this does not excuse the butchering of the English language, the finest in the world; both Latin and the French Language are not ones to be messed around with and both form an important grounding in English.
Coronation Street, the hub ITV’s evening entertainment and quite possibly the most annoying television programme/drama/soap that has ever existed; not forgetting of course it follows slightly behind EastEnders and daytime television as whole but it’s near the top, has never been high on my priority watching list.
Alas, tonight I was unfortunate enough to see the whole terrifying thirty minutes of drivel. It was then I realised just how strange the country is, we condone this kind of rubbish on a daily basis and thats ok, however it may seem I don’t mind it being there, people find comfort in such things, but I must emphasise I am not one of them.
I also understand that its important that these programmes inherit the area in which they are based, and this is fair but what I saw was horrifying. In English we use phrases which are constructed to convey a point, using the phrase; which follows does not do this, it just succeeded in confusing Mr. Rant.
“Where you off?”
Where you off? Where you off? What the fuck does that mean?!
it’s not even a sentence, question or statement, it simply is complete rubbish! Learn how to compose a sentence, learn how to construct a meaningful expression please! Please don’t subject me to this mindless driveling shite, to the writers of Coronation Street:
If you subject me to more of the crap, I will be forced to eat my own ears (no easy feat I’ll have you know!), I will not be subjected to this anymore!
*Closes door, slamming it loudly* Yes this blog has doors!
See there's one there...
Written By Mr. Rant.
It really annoys everyone when…
You push into me getting on the train and don’t appologise, yes we all know your the size of an ox but you don’t really need the space which I take up to facilate it gigantism.
We know you suffer from PTPS (Pushy Train Passenger Syndrome) and this cause you to become a jabbering music blaring baboon.
You really must form an understaning of humanity and stop being a syncopated moron.
Written By Mobile Rant.
Shopping…
Anger Level 3Â – Mildly Bubbling…
Shop·ping
v.intr.
- To visit stores in search of merchandise or bargains.
- To look for something with the intention of acquiring it.
Shopping…
Why do we drag ourselves around shops everyday hoping to find that illusive bargain or to buy presents which no one wants? The above is the cause of the hatred which rears it’s self each year in the months of October, November and December. It’s not that I dislike shopping, No I lie, it is that I dislike shopping, No, actually dislike its too weak a word, try; Hate or Despise and you get my sentiments on the experience. Why is it that when I shop I feel my stress level Immediately make a jump towards the moon?!
I walk into the Bullring in Birmingham and i am immediately drawn to the feeling of; “WHY?!” Not just why am I shopping, but;
“Why in God’s name can’t you walk in a straight line?!”
Or
“Move out of the way, you’re standing there like an Idiot, what exactly are you waiting for? You seem to be waiting for something… What is it? Is the roof about to fall in? Are you waiting to see if ‘Marie’ the Cashier at Till Number 3 comes over and offers you said product for free? Come on Idiot… MOVE!”
 It’s not that I believe that I’m right all the time, more so in-fact that I am often wrong, but if one thing is sure it is that you; “Mr. Lets Stand in the Way” and you “Mrs Staring into Space” really do aggravate me a huge amount and most of the time which makes it worse, is the simple fact that you don’t even know you’re doing it! How can someone be that oblivious? Now I know that you can ignore certain things, but this is a similar disgree of ignorance to having a train coming up behind you and you don’t even bat an eyelid, what are you… Deaf? Dumb? Or just plain old Stupid?
No, your a Shopper!
This justifies your Stupidity. I am certain that you are a perfectly lovely, sensible person who doesn’t tend to wonder around their home as if they’ve lost something and certainly doesn’t stand in-front of a cupboard for twenty minutes before deciding which brand of crisp you wish to snack on. Well it’s easy isn’t it? You just do it. Â
“Salt and Vinegar, Lovely!”
 See now that was easy, wasn’t it?  You saw it and you’ve had them before so you make the association with the memory that they are nice ultimately, you got them and ate them! Wonderful! Marvellous!
So, answer me this?
“WHY IN GOD’S NAME CAN’T YOU DO IT IN A SHOP!”
The simple reason is, you’ve got this bug, this disease which everyone develops in December, from this point forward it will be known as “Idiot Shopper Syndrome” or “ISS” for short.Â
 “ISS” is something which we develop which turns us into a jibbering cattle-like flock of Human zombies meandering through a shop like a fly which shouldn’t have got his flying license and shouldn’t even be out of the “Mental Home” on a Saturday Morning.
I will Think of this.  Its not that long till its allover, its two weeks and then Christmas is out of the way!
But lo, your “ISS” will continue well into the new year with the dreaded January Sales, Lord Help Me when that comes around….
Written By Mr. Rant.
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